Ugh...i hate days like today. I mean, i had the day off which was wonderful...and I've been watching grey's anatomy all day which is also wonderful. But I'm in a mood and I don't like it. I'm in a mood for the following several reasons:
1.) I am overwhelmed and sad at the fact that band camp is in just under a week, and I am not going to be there with all of my friends
2.) My best friend blew me off completely today...but she did have the weekend with her boyfriend in her house by herself...and she has no idea that she blew me off
3.) I miss something...I miss something that I had at one point in my life not overly long ago, and I wish I had it back...I wish I was on a different path than I have happened to come down (and I highly doubt any of you have any idea what I'm talking about)
These things are why I am in a mood and I don't like it. The first one, I cannot control but I am doing everything I possibly can to get over it and stay over it. I mean, I did what I had to do. I did what was best for me and my family. It sucks, but I will get past it. The second one I wish I could control. I wish I could sit down and talk to her and tell her that she bitches and moans about Erin blowing her off all the time but she does the same thing to me. And she has no idea. The last thing I have absolutely no control over. There is nothing, NOTHING, nothing that I can do. I don't even know if there is anything I would do. I just know that I miss how I felt. I miss how wonderful I felt about life...I don't really feel that way sometimes. I mean, I have done some things that make me happy...I am happy with where my life is right now. However, I miss those good days from my past. I really miss the way things used to be. I miss that somethin...
Anywho...I think that's all I needed to get out on the table tonight. Thanks for listening and I'm sure I'll report in again sometime soon.
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