I see my life...and it's way too short

Words I've said aren't coming true
I don't know if it's me or you
This promise is too hard to keep
I have to speak
So what, I lied
But the truth would've been suicide
But I see my life
And it's way too short
Don't blame me for not being subservient to others' needs
I'm at the point where honesty just doesn't fucking work for me
~Sick Puppies

So im sitting here at work, once again on my long tuesday. Class 9-1050, work 11-130, lab 2-450, lab 5-750, work 8-11...that's my tuesday. One of those days that I can't really cut out of anything. Where is my boyfriend? Where is my best friend? At the Coheed and Cambria concert in Rochester...not together of course but they are there none the less. How badly do I want to be there? I'm practically in tears...

Every time Co&Ca comes to rochester or buffalo, I can't go see them. I can recall at least 3 times in the last 5 years that they have come here, John has gone, and I have been sitting somewhere at school, unable to go. I'll get to hear about how awesome it is, for weeks to come, and everytime, I will die a little more inside.

Music means that much to me. It kills me when I can't go see a band i thoroughly enjoy listening to. And 9 times out of 10...it's because of school. I'm so fucking sick of it. I'm so sick of not being able to live my life and do the things I want to do because I am stuck here...in the frozen tundra of buffalo...with shit tons of stuff to do...

It doesn't help that I have been completely depressed and weird the last few days, having everything add up on me like this doesn't help either. Not just the not being able to do anything with my life, more like the school stuff going to shit, and work being a complete joke...idk, it doesn't seem like much on the outside, but to me, I have a lot going on and I am so sick of it.

My trip is in 29 days. I have a feeling that I'm going to get out there, and I'm going to have a great time, and it's going to fly by, and before I can blink, I'm gonna be on a plane back home to shitty buffalo for 3 tests, then home to shitty wegmans.

Funny story, people actually think I have fun over the summer and just relax and all that jazz...I work my ass off. I work almost 40 hours a week, every week, without a doubt...that's not exactly fun now is it? I want to have fun, and I'm sure I'll have more fun this summer than I did last summer...but still...

Idk...I need to be out of here...I need to get the fuck out of here....

I never thought I'd feel this
Guilty and I'm Broken down inside
Living with myself Nothing but lies
I always thought I'd make it
But never knew I'd Let it get so bad
Living with myself Is all I have
I feel numb I can't come to life
I feel like I'm frozen in time
Living in a World so cold
Wasted away Living in a shell
With no soul
~Three Days Grace