I write this to you while sitting in my physics class, awaiting it to start, with the creepy asian kid staring at me again..
Lol so yea, i am sick as a dog...have been for the last few days and it absolutely freakin sucks. I'm getting better. I just have to keep taking lots and lots of advil so that my head doesn't feel quite so congested. My nose is so raw...ugh. But my throat doesn't hurt nearly as much today as it did yesterday. I'm just hoping this class doesn't take forever. I really skip this class far too often. It's bad, I know, but like last week I was working and spending time with Nicole, and this thursday is the Men's Akron game...I mean seriously, that's gonna be a huge game...I need to be there lol.
Oh Avto...you and your maroon sweater. How I would not be able to handle physics without you and your maroon sweater lol. I'm lame I know but it's because I'm sick, bear with me. I think I have a test in this class next week. Ugh!! That's not cool. And I have one tomorrow that I am not prepared for yet at all. Good think I'm working tonight.
I need to start saving my monies again. I'm thinking about taking like $100 bucks out of my paycheck every 2 weeks when I get paid and holding it aside to deposit in my savings account till I go home and work at weggies where they do that for me. This way I will have plenty of money saved up again. I don't like not having much in my savings account. Plus this way, I will have money to spoil my baby with.
I keep thinking about him. Like more than usual. I keep looking towards this summer, spring even. I'm thinking a lot about the marching band season and how cute I can be towards him. How much I can spoil him. I can see myself bringing him dinner every night to practice...like real food ya know? Either whatever we have that night, or something from weggies if I worked, or something I pick up for him cuz that's what he wants. It will be nice to be able to focus all my time and energies on him. He deserves it. I mean, from what I have heard, he has gone through a few rough relationships, and I have too, and we deserve each other. It will be so nice. *sigh* he is so fantastic ya know? I mean really perfect for me. I am just so excited to not be at school for a while and actually be able to be a couple. And with band, that won't be a problem ;)
I'll come back to him later. So funny story...John posted a note today and it brought me into it. There was a question about having your heart broken, and he said October, you know the story. It made me think...is he really that dumb that he doesn't remember the day we actually broke up (September 22nd), or is it when I started dating Brad that his heart broke? I'm hoping it's not the latter. I mean...sigh...Idk. I remember it like it was yesterday. It seems to plague me more than I would like it to. I mean, I remember exactly how I felt before it happened, I remember exactly what I was thinking, who i was talking to, what I wanted to say, what I wanted him to understand...everything. It was really sad...I felt really bad, but I knew that I needed to do what I had to do. I do not regret doing it...not even a little bit. If anything, I feel bad for the timing. But ya know what?? I did everything I could. I mean, what else could I have done? I can't be expected to provide a life for someone else right now, this is me time. It is all about me. I don't always remember that, but in this case, I had to. I mean, I remember how miserable I was, how shocked i was when he told me he flunked out. I remember everything I did, everything I felt, that's how seriously it affected me. I remember him sleeping on my floor, I remember having a panic attack and scaring the shit out of myself at eric's place, I remember being absolutely miserable during band camp and having to hide it from almost everyone. I remember how miserable i was in the time leading up to us breaking up...I remember the 2 weekends back to back that I went home, how much fun I had, how happy i was to be away from there. To be with my family and my bandies at home, ya know, the ones who look up to me, consider me a role model, like having me around, don't expect much of me. Hanging out with the moms who love me like I was their own, treat me like an adult, and keep me involved with everything that is going on like I was one of them. The boys, Jaeger and Bradley...going to the bar with them, sharing wings, throwing popcorn, being goofy kids. That is what I thrive on, it is what I need. And John was not giving that to me. I was not happy. I mean, oh man...i'll go there later, just know that I did what was necessary for me and I am better for it.
I want to go into detail about Medina. That was the GMB weekend I had right before John and I broke up. I knew it was coming, but I needed the weekend away to decide what I was going to do. Anyways, so Lauren and I showed up to rehearsal really early, blocking off the parking lot at Arcadia with the boys. It was kinda awkward and weird because it was only Lu-zer, me, brad, and jaeger. I was so nervous, I didn't know what to do. I tried so hard to focus on lauren and matt lol. Anyways so I was talking to Brad and we were being goofy. Then the kids showed up and it wasn't so awkward...till Lydia stole brad's shades, and then I took them from her and was wearing them. He loved it, I know he did. It was cute till he had to come take them from me lol. Then I was just hanging out with the moms, doing our thing, watching Brad work, making sure he knew I was watching him. Later on, I ran to the store to get food for Lu and some drinks for the show. Made sure to ask everyone if they wanted anything. Brad asked for gatorade....they didn't have cold gatorade at weggies so I went to the mobil on the corner to make sure I got what he wanted lol. That was nice, something stupid and small but i loved it, made me feel like i was really connecting or something haha. So ok, fast forward a little bit. Mom accidently took my coat and my sweatshirt home with her cuz she swapped cars...so I got to steal Brad's hoodie ;) that was sooooooooo cool. We sat across from each other on the bus cuz guys and girls cant sit together lol and we were technically chaperones. We were talking and goofing around, and a few of the kids kinda caught the vibes but not really. We got to the show and I had to kinda let him do his thing, which was fine. He kept texting me, telling me how much he liked how I was watching him and how awkward we were making things haha. Fast forward some more, the kids went and performed phenomenally. We were rushing to get stuff off the field, and the box brad was pushing broke, the wheel fell off, so I ran to help him lol. I was like totally throwing myself at him. Then comes the sad part...he wanted to go hide with me somewhere instead of going to the meeting where you find out the scores and talk to the judges. If only I had known!!!!!!! I kick myself for it. Anyways, so he texts me telling me how they won for the first time. I was freaking out. They announced it and we were all freaking out. It was awesome, the first GMB win!!! w00t!! Then comes the awkwardness. Everyone met over by the busses and Jeff was giving his speech. Brad ended up next to me. I wanted to hold his hand so bad...and apparently he wanted to hold mine too. *sigh* Then we get on the busses, the groupie (that's me) gives her schpeal to the busses about how they can do anything as long as they put their minds to it. I get back on our bus and start flirting with him again. Him and Jeff and Jaeger were talking and we were kinda running our fingers along each other, but not really holding hands, trying to keep it subtle. Then I start getting the texts from John...which made me cry. I mean really cry. And I was trying to hide it from Brad, but he knew what was going on. He tried so hard to make me feel better. So then we get home and im doing better and we all go to applebees. We get there and Brad sits next to me, and the way the table is, we are kinda really close. Our legs were right next to each other, and we were kinda rubbing up against each other. He would put his hand on my leg, I would try to hide that he was doing that, but it was really nice. At the end of the night, he kissed me on the cheek, had to give back his hoodie, and when I got in the car and we were pulling out of the parking lot, he texted me two simple words...Thank You. I said what for, he said, for giving him an awesome weekend. From that night on, we talked constantly....like everyday, all day, online or texting or anything, we were talking. *sigh* I fell so hard for him...so hard I smashed my face on the pavement lol. I tell him that constantly...
*sigh* I just, I love him, I really truly do. He makes my life interesting and fun. We actually go out and do things, he brings me out with his friends, he likes having me around, Jay seems to like me lol. I think this summer will be really uber fantastic. I mean, I have so many things that I want to do, so many plans, and he says he is cool with all of them. And the whole being able to stay at his place thing without it being weird with my parents....love it!!! He has a big comfy bed, and he will teach me to be a morning person. It needs to be may now...so school is over and I can have him all to myself. :D can't wait!!!
It amazes me, how many people are falling asleep in this class. I mean, physics is kinda boring but Avto at least tries to make things interesting. And yet, a good fifth of the class or so I have watched drift in and out lol. How funny...kinda like diff eq haha.
Ok...half an hour left, what else can I write about?? Oh wait, he is doing a sample problem...I should write this down. Ugh so I hate getting sick because I can't breathe through my nose when I sleep like at all so my mouth gets all dried out, and my taste buds tweek out, and I bite my tongue so I get cuts on it....and my teeth hurt. I need to not be sick anymore. Like tomorrow I need to be 100% healthy. Won't happen, but I would like it too. I at least need to be 100% by next friday night. Kappa meeting at 9pm, going home afterwards as long as it's only a little bit long...like done before 11pm, then I am spending all day with Brad on saturday...like he said we were gonna spend all day together, I was gonna stay at his place that night, and then I would get to see him in the morning before either going to the Kitten shower, or having him go to this meeting. I'll probably end up going to the kitten shower, but I don't want to. She is creepy and weird and I know she is family but she is only married in, and Bobby is distant enough that it doesn't matter. He is like my second cousin or something...yea, second cousin cuz he is mom's cousin. Or is he my cousin once removed? Idk how that works, I should look into it. But i don't want to go to the kitten shower. Lol and I'm not kitten...get it?? Haha, oh how sad and pathetic I am because of my father...i wouldn't have it any other way.
Ugh...maybe I'll just leave...i'm not paying attention anyways. I could have just stayed at work, but I'm skipping next class and I'm hoping he gives the quiz today. I'm so not getting 5 full points on my final grade, I think I have missed at least 2 quizzes. Ugh!!! And I have to study for BioChem...like I wish I knew what would be on the test besides the amino acids...like their composition, which I don't know at all lol. I fake it. I'll come up with someway to remember them tonight, but I don't know what else to focus on. Sidebar...this one girl in my class is an idiot...she was sitting in the second row, why didn't she just go to the front, walk along the side and go out the door? And yet, I'm the one not getting decent grades...ok maybe not for this class, this class I'm doing very well in, but really??
ah....fmylife.com is a freakin awesome website. Just sayin
Alright, class is ending so I'll wrap this up and post it. Thanks for listening, comment if there is anything you particularly liked ;)
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